Kate Middleton, the duchess of Cambridge and wife of prince William, is supposed to be the new, modern face of the monarchy.
But she was laughing and joking with dictators last week at the queen’s diamond jubilee party at Windsor Castle.
The queen and the duchess rubbed shoulders with the king of Bahrain—who continues to violently suppressed protests there.
The queen smiled and shook his hand as he arrived.
They also mingled with fellow tyrants like the kings of Saudi Arabia, Jordan and Swaziland, the emir of Qatar and the sultan of Brunei.
Their feast included a tartlet of poached egg with English asparagus, followed by noisettes of new-season lamb, finished off with strawberries.
When the queen sails up the Thames this weekend, her royal barge will feature a huge velvet banner—with half a million gold buttons.
It measures 10 feet by 10 feet, and is so heavy it will have to be lifted into place with a forklift truck.
And when the queen has to go and meet the peasants, she wants to be comfortable.
That’s why she makes her servants wear-in her shoes for her.
You might think all this could make the queen a target for protests. But don’t worry—the cops have it covered. The Metropolitan police will be watching the jubilee with helicopter-mounted cameras they claim are capable of seeing the colour of your eyes from almost a mile in the air.