Socialist Worker

Stop the press!! A woman is going to have another baby

Issue No. 2420

Another royal scrounger is on the way

Another royal scrounger is on the way (Pic: Tim Sanders)


How can any Scot want to leave Britain after news that another royal scrounger is on the way?

The announcement was made just days before the vote on Scottish independence.

Newspapers were keen to stress that the timing was “forced” because Kate is ill with severe morning sickness.

News of the foetus led to an explosion of twaddle from all the usual suspects. There’s nothing like a royal foetus to bring people together.

David Cameron was “delighted by the happy news”. Ed Miliband also celebrated the “happy news”. He went with calling it “fantastic” along with deputy prime minister Nick Clegg.

Scottish National Party leader Alex Salmond was “delighted” and Ukip’s Nigel Farage sent his congratulations too.

In the hours after the announcement on Monday of this week, the “news” kept on coming. 

The Press Association managed no less than ten “news stories” in just over seven hours. They included such treats as, “William dropped baby hint on tour”, “Kate sickness ‘might be worse’” and “Harry teases Will over baby news”.

A special pullout in the Mail included a series of pictures of Kate showing—would you believe it!—that women get bigger as pregnancies go on.

Luckily Kate was smart enough to use a short coat to hide her bump and “divert attention to her legs and boots”.

Sexist crap has run through the coverage. So Kate—seemingly little more than an incubator—“was always expected to produce an ‘heir and a spare’.”

Still, her cossetted life is a world away from the lives of most women.

In a lovely twist the BBC cut off live coverage of a speech by TUC general secretary Frances O’Grady to announce Kate’s pregnancy.

O’Grady had been giving a speech about class and inequality. But why listen to the rhetoric when you can watch the real thing?

Five Facts

One royal scrounger is pregnant with another royal scrounger—and we are all expected to celebrate

  • The first scrounger of William and Kate, George, is a multi-millionaire at just over one year old
  • The queen’s personal fortune rose by £10 million to £300 million over the last year
  • The new scrounger can take its pick of palaces and stately homes
  • Meanwhile a third of children in Britain live in poverty
  • Nearly two thirds of them have a parent in work
Jim Murphy

Jim Murphy (Pic: Duncan Brown)


Better Together is ever more bizarre

Glasgow MP Jim Murphy tried a new tack to discourage Scots from voting for independence.

Writing in the Daily Mirror last weekend, Murphy implored, 

“Just think of what we have achieved together.

“Our countries together defeated the Nazis and created the industrial revolution.

“We gave the world the theory of evolution, the television and the telephone.”

It isn’t clear what the independence referendum has to do with any of this.

The No campaign is getting desperate.


The Tories are having a go at mixed ability classes in schools.

For them, it’s much better to write off working class children as stupid early.

So they want “streaming” in every school for “key subjects”. They claim this will help disadvantaged children. It will help—to keep them down.


The secret suffering of austerity bosses

Troublemaker would like to take a moment to remember the hidden victims of the crisis.

We regularly hear about the travails of low paid workers, disabled people, unemployed workers and children whose parents can’t afford to feed them.

But what about Britain’s top bosses? New research from Deloitte shows that 78 of the FTSE 100 firms have made changes to top directors’ contracts.

A third of firms froze the salary of their chief executive. 

Any salary rises have been “modest”—at an average of 2.5 percent.

What are public sector workers complaining about?


Are you dying to show your support for Tory toff Boris Johnson’s bid to become an MP?

Troublemaker has just the thing. Simply pop into The Rib Room Bar & Restaurant off London’s Sloane Street. There you can buy the Boris4PM—“a glass of Bubbly Blond Bollinger with a cherry, available from 4pm for £16, to celebrate Boris Johnson’s run for Parliament.”


Do you want sexism with that?

A burger chain has been forced to repaint its toilet walls after its sexist slogans didn’t go down too well.

Almost Famous is painting over statements including “Laxatives are definitely the answer,” “My hair is too frizzy,” and “Why can’t I be thinner?”.

The firm justified its decorating decision by saying it is a “young” company that “takes risks”. It added that the design came from “a female employee”.


At last Tony Blair is getting some recognition for his tireless work helping others.

GQ magazine named him philanthropist of the year last week.

As people took to Twitter to vent their outrage, awards event organiser Richard Dodgson explained, “We like to have celebrities who cause a bit of a stir. So having Tony was fantastic.”


Brooks Newmark may not have been the best choice for new Tory charities minister.

“We want to try to keep charities and voluntary groups out of the realms of politics,” he said in his first major speech.

“The important thing charities should be doing is sticking to their knitting.”


GOING UP

Andy Coulson—has been  moved to an open prison the News of the World called a “holiday camp”

GOING DOWN

Workers in cities—some 750,000 more were forced into low-paid jobs between 2001 and 2011


KNOW YOUR ENEMY

No. 942

Nadine Dorries

Woman-hating warmonger

  • Tory MP Nadine Dorries usually spends her time fighting against a woman’s right to choose
  • She claims this is because she wants to “defend life”
  • Dorries showed this by calling for bombing Syria on Twitter last week

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Article information

The Troublemaker
Tue 9 Sep 2014, 16:47 BST
Issue No. 2420
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