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Meddling man with medals worries Corbyn won’t kill

Issue No. 2479

General Sir Nicholas Houghton

Houghton and his medals (Pic: Harland Quarrington/MOD)

General Sir Nicholas Houghton—chief of the defence staff—decided to use Remembrance Sunday to argue for the importance of killing lots of people.

He made a point of saying that Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was a “worry”.

He added that a plan to never use nuclear weapons “undermines the credibility” of the deterrent.

Houghton received the backing of Maria Eagle, the shadow defence secretary.

She told The Andrew Marr Show that the chief of the defence staff was within his rights to express his doubts about her party leader becoming prime minister.

Which should go in the box marked unhelpful.

The prime minister’s office defended the comments.

Houghton is Cameron’s top military adviser. Which suggests he and they are for using nuclear weapons in order to deter their use.

The Labour leader complained of soldiers meddling in democracy. Which is fair enough as far as it goes.

The esteemed general has a long and distinguished career and has lost a number of wars.

He also hired his own private lawyers to help rebut criticism of him in Sir John Chilcot’s Iraq inquiry report—if it ever reports.

General Sir Nicholas has been told that he is among several senior military commanders facing criticism in the report.

Questions about his spotless record are likely to relate to the aftermath of the 2003 invasion when he held senior roles in Iraq.

He gave evidence to the inquiry in 2010 when he was pressed on

corruption and violence in the British-trained Iraqi police.

Corruption and violence being the type of thing that made the empire whatit was.

He was chief of joint operations in 2008 when the Iraqi military requested US rather than British assistance to retake Iraq’s second city of Basra, three months after British troops had withdrawn from the city.

Perhaps they thought Houghton would nuke them.

Tory Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith is threatening to resign if George Osborne announces any more cuts to his welfare changes.

But this is at least the fourth time IDS has threatened to quit—once in 2011 and at least twice in 2010.

Maybe this time he’ll be a man of his word.

Wouldn’t hold your breath.

Newspapers Last week warned of winter blackouts.

The Daily Express claimed “energy experts” said supply and demand margins are “alarmingly” tight.

Tory chancellor George Osborne last month signed a deal for a new nuclear power plant at Hinkley Point.

Troublemaker stresses there is no connection between the two.

The lights are out for Jim Davidson

Troublemaker would like to congratulate the lighting engineer who apparently switched off the lights during a show by “comedian” Jim Davidson last month.

Davidson whined, “I stood in the dark for most of the performance while the lighting girl had a strop.”

Apparently he has been “banned” from the Assembly Hall theatre in Tunbridge Wells from now on.

Venue director Brian McAteer said this was “irrespective of Jim Davidson’s rudeness” and was because Davidson’s backward brand of “comedy” just isn’t popular enough.

Alistair Burt spoke for nearly half an hour to “filibuster” the proposed Off-Patent Drugs Bill. He accused those who wanted cheaper drugs of “shroud waving”.A Tory health minister has deliberately blocked a new law to provide cheap and effective drugs for the NHS by championing medicines whose patents have expired.

Making up police Bradford bravery

WEST Yorkshire Police has apologised for a press release that contained an error about officers going into a burning house in Bradford and rescuing a man.

Police released a statement saying two officers forced their way into the semi-detached property and brought a man to safety.

Chief Inspector Sarah Baker at Bradford district police praised the officers “for the bravery they showed in entering the burning house and bringing the male occupant to safety”.

Residents from neighbouring properties challenged that version of events.

The force has admitted it made an error—but insisted it was well intentioned.

Chief Inspector Baker said, “We have now established the officers forced entry with the assistance of a resident. Whilst it was assumed both officers went inside the premises, this was not the case.”

The resident said, “All I did was kick the front door in. No one went in. He came running out of the back door.”

Sadiq Khan

Sadiq Khan (Pic: National Archives)

A bridging loan from Labour

Staff on the proposed garden bridge in London will confiscate and destroy kites and musical instruments.

The government is giving the project £30 million.

Transport for London is giving £30 million.

Last week it was decided £20 million of that would be in the form of an interest free loan payable in 50 years time.

This transformed the project from what Sadiq Khan, Labour’s mayoral candidate, described as a “white elephant” to what he now says is “saving up to £20 million of Londoners’ hard-earned money.”

There was a posh Tory called Chris

It is time for another posho election. Hereditary peers battle it out for a place in the House of Lords.

Edmund Christopher Pery, seventh Earl of Limerick, seventh Viscount Limerick of the City of Limerick, seventh Baron Foxford of Stackpole Court and eighth Baron Glentworth of Mallow is just one person.

The former diplomat, banker and lawyer who was educated at Eton and Oxford, uses rhyme in the place of a “candidature statement”.

He doesn’t manage to write a Limerick. You don’t want to read it.

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The Troublemaker
Tue 10 Nov 2015, 17:03 GMT
Issue No. 2479
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