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Extra cash for Tory advisors as Pig Face One finally flies

Issue No. 2513

camerons plane

Pig Force (Pic: RAF)

David Cameron lined up his former chief of staff to become Britain’s new ambassador to France.

Cameron recommended Ed Llewellyn for the posting in Paris during his final days in Downing Street.

Cameron overruled the head of the civil service to increase redundancy payoffs for his outgoing team of political aides, increasing the collective sum from £747,045 to more than £1 million.

The same people could be included in a resignation honours list due this week—although Troublemaker was also optimistic of a mention in the list.

Cameron’s insistence that aides who worked in government before last year’s general election be given a six-month payoff means the real amount could be twice that sum.

The deal means the special advisers of cabinet ministers sacked in last week’s clear-out will also be entitled to the enhanced redundancy packages.

Special advisers, known as Spads, to George Osborne, Michael Gove, John Whittingdale and Nicky Morgan will all also benefit from the payoffs of up to £60,000.

Cam Force One, the new prime ministerial plane, made its debut flight only two weeks ago. Perhaps now to be called the May Fly, Cameron’s vanity project was used to get Cameron off to a Nato summit.

David Cameron squeezed £10million out of the Treasury for something he used just once.

We’ve never had it so good

Thank goodness George Osborne’s austerity got the economy back on track before he was sacked last week.

Thanks to all those cuts, Britain is now in “recovery”—or so we are told. Except the “recovery” doesn’t seem to apply to workers.

The Research Foundation found that under-35s earned £8,000 less during their 20s than a typical person in the previous generation.

If the trend continues millennials—those born between the early 1980s and 2000—could become the first generation to earn less than their parents.

Shadow cabinet Barry who?

Labour’s Barry Gardiner was shouted down by MPs when he got up at a meeting.

Bizarrely it is some weird tradition that you should let shadow cabinet ministers speak first.

Even more bizarrely the political giants of the Parliamentary Labour Party hadn’t noticed Jeremy Corbyn had appointed him shadow energy secretary hours earlier.

Israel’s video message

Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu has hit on a new way to bring peace to the region—a YouTube video.

The video, Five Steps To Peace, is aimed at Palestinian president Mahmoud Abbas. In it, Netanyahu urges Abbas to “teach tolerance not terror”.

It seems we were on the wrong track when we thought ending the occupation of Palestine might be the solution.

Ukip members total tossers, says Ukip

UKIP is demanding a £5,000 deposit from any member who wants to run to succeed Nigel Farage as party leader.

Members who want to stand for election must ensure their social media profiles are purged of racist posts.

“Please be aware that ‘liking’ or ‘sharing’ anything by a Ukip proscribed party will result in a failed vetting status,” an email on the election rules states.

Ukip’s leader in Scotland David Coburn said that some party members were “total tossers”, and insisted the financial “barrier” was necessary to ensure the right candidates stepped forward.

He added that it was easy enough to raise £5,000.

Various people have come forward to lead the hard right party.

But none of them are very interesting.

EU boss goes for vampire squid job

Goldman Sachs has hired former European Commission head Jose Manuel Barroso.

French president Francois Hollande labelled Barroso’s job as “morally unacceptable”.

The vampire squid firm said,“We began our discussions at a time when the prevailing view was that the Remain campaign would succeed, an outcome we would have preferred.”

Barroso replaces Peter Sutherland, a former European Commissioner and ex-boss of the World Trade Organisation.

As the Daily Telegraph put it in a rather long sentence, “If Goldman was trying to reinforce the view that it, and other big banks, are at the heart of a corporatist, unaccountable nexus that connects business, finance and politics—and whose elite members all end up working for each other and doing backroom deals with one another—then it hired the right person, in the right way and at the right time.”

Theresa May made much of tackling inequality and helping the “working class” in her first speech as prime minister. But things have quickly got back to normal. May is considering ramping up segregation in education by allowing new grammar schools to open. Education secretary Justine Greening is “open-minded”.

Hurrah—The House of Lords has elected a new hereditary peer. The 15th Earl of Cork and Orrery was chosen by crossbenchers. He won 15 votes. His interests are “dendrology [the study of trees], sailing and cathedrals”. He is Baron Boyle of Marston cos Cork and Orrery are in Ireland and so don’t count. He beat Richard Hubert Gordon Gilbey, 12th Baron Vaux of Harrowden.



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The Troublemaker
Tue 19 Jul 2016, 16:24 BST
Issue No. 2513
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