Tory Eric Pickles has attacked Sheffield council for spending around £687,116 on translation services between 2011 and 2014.
Pickles claimed this “holds people back from integrating into British society”.
He himself has a much better way of spending money, having spent £536,801 on limousines between 2012 and the first half of 2014.
Another week, another royal scandal splashed on the tabloid front pages.
This time it’s news that Kate Middleton may have some grey hair.
“Oh Kate, are you really showing grey roots at 33?” exclaimed the Daily Mail.
An article went on to complain that Kate was only “a relatively youthful 33”.
The Mail also had some delightful advice for women who want to stay looking young—put lipstick under your eyes to hide dark circles.
Margaret Thatcher was an unlikely believer in flower power, says Pinkoes and Traitors, a new BBC history.
Thatcher asked for “the right-coloured flowers” to be on any set she came on, preferably blue hyacinths.
Top BBC executives agonised over whether it would show bias.
But they deemed it was fine so long as Labour got any floral decor they wanted as well.
Poor Mark Gough. The failed Harlow Ukip candidate has lashed out at Stand Up to Ukip campaigners for costing him the seat in a by-election this month.
Gough moaned, “There was a stop-Ukip demonstration and they were putting leaflets through doors which were full of lies.
“It was all clearly damaging.”
The bigots claim that “Ukip has a zero tolerance approach to tax avoidance, no matter how important you think you are”.
Nigel Farage set up an offshore trust in the Isle of Man. Farage backed party supporter Stuart Wheeler who argues “not all tax avoidance is bad”.
Aaron Banks gives lots of cash to Ukip. It comes via a company which paid just £12,000 corporation tax on a turnover of £19.7 million and is owned via a tax haven.
Krispy Kreme had to apologise last week after its Hull shop branded a children’s half term club KKK.
Unfortunately the initials are better known for US Nazi group the Ku Klux Klan.
Krispy Kreme has “taken down the sign from our point of sale” and is “investigating”.
Binyamin Netanyahu—he’s just like one of us really.
And to prove it the Israeli prime minister made a video showing his modest home.
In the film his wife Sara claims they had no cash to fix upholstery before Barack Obama visited—forcing him to sit on a coffee-stained couch.
Netanyahu is under pressure after a watchdog criticised his “excessive” spending of public money on himself.
Unfortunately the video backfired after it transpired it actually showed his servants’ quarters, not his home.
The Things They Say…
‘I’d hoped it was David Coulthard’
A Rolls Royce worker on hearing that VIP guest ‘DC’ was visiting. It turned out to be David Cameron
‘Planet of the Apes’
How one cop described Lambeth, south London, after the 2011 riots
‘What happens when renewable energy runs out?’
Ukip candidate Victoria Ayling gets confused
‘A tiny blip’
Tory employment minister Esther McVey on the number of young people out of work
‘I don’t wear a nice watch or fancy jewellery’
Celebrity chef Annabel Karmel on the trials of being rich and robbed
‘Nobody’s talking about raising corporate taxation’
Labour’s Neil Kinnock reassures the bosses
‘We agree with Len McCluskey’
An unlikely story about the Unite union leader from Ukip’s Bob Smith
‘Villain of the year’
Awarded to Ukip leader Nigel Farage by NME magazine
State deaths quads in Derry, Phillip Green still trousering cash
The Troublemaker looks at the news of the week