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Utterly Nuttall-lie. I can’t believe Ukip isn’t racist! It is

This article is over 4 years, 11 months old
Issue 2540

Ukip leader Paul Nuttall seems to be easily confused. He is Ukip’s candidate in the Stoke-on-Trent Central by-election due next week

He faces a fraud investigation after being accused of putting the wrong address on his nomination form.

It seems Nuttall wasn’t really sure where he lived. A Stoke address appeared on the form, while Nuttall was living 60 miles away in Merseyside.

Nuttall admitted he had never been to the Stoke address. Defending himself, he claimed the house would be his home “for the rest of the campaign”.

But this has now turned out to be inaccurate too. Nuttall has now been forced to leave the house after “a series of incidents” including “hate mail” being posted through the letter box.

Nuttall is also confused about which six towns make up Stoke—failing to name them in a radio interview last week.

And doubt has been cast on his claim that he was present at the 1989 Hillsborough football disaster.

One of his former teachers said his school identified boys who had survived the disaster to give them support.

Nuttall wasn’t one of them. And a “good friend” of Nuttall said he had never spoken about Hillsborough.

On Tuesday Nuttall was forced to admit that claims he made on his website in 2012 that he had “lost close personal friends” at Hillsborough were false. 

Nuttall is also confused about what he thinks of the NHS. He previously celebrated “privatisation” in the health service.

Now he claims he has changed his mind.

Billionaires’ boat takes the biscuit

Poor billionaires.

They are really suffering as a result of the crisis. So much so that they are having to make do with a mere £250 million superyacht.

The yacht, Quintessentially One, will be the length of two football pitches. Only the richest will be able to access it.

It will offer restaurants, bars, a golf green, theatre, cinema room, library, indoor and outdoor swimming pools, a spa and a gym. Its maiden voyage is planned for 2019, when it is expected to visit the Monaco Grand Prix, Cannes Film Festival and Rio Carnival. To be a member you have to be invited—and pay.

Aaron Simpson of Quintessentially, which is building the yacht, said, “It will be the world’s largest floating private membership club.” He added that it offers a “wonderful way to meet the demands of Quintessentially’s global members”.

Tory toffs show the party’s true colours

Theresa May claims the Tories stand for everyone, not just the privileged few. But Ronald Coyne doesn’t seem to have got the message.

The University of Cambridge’s Conservative Association was forced to throw him out after he burned a £20 note in front of a homeless man.

But maybe Coyne was just following tradition. Burning a £50 note in front of a homeless man is an initiation ceremony for people to get into Oxford university’s Bullingdon Club.

Former members include ex prime minister David Cameron and foreign secretary Boris Johnson.

Brexit minister David Davis also showed the Tories’ true colours last week. Following reports that he tried to kiss shadow home secretary Diane Abbott, he texted another Tory, “I am not blind.” A spokesman for Davis said it was a “jocular and private exchange”.

It follows the suspension of a Tory official last week for retweeting an image depicting Abbott as an ape wearing lipstick.

Sam Cam gets ahead, with a man’s backing

The Times devoted an entire page to promoting Samantha Cameron’s new clothing business, Cefinn, on Monday of this week.

Under the heading “Analysis” it reported, “Cefinn’s clean lines will resonate with the ‘real women’ its creator wants to attract.”

And like anything women do, the support of a man was credited for it. Cameron gushed that her husband is “unbelievably supportive”.

She said, “On the days I go home and say, ‘I don’t think I can do this, darling,’ he’s like, ‘Come on, glass of wine, you can do it!”

Soames rolling in it thanks to security firms

Two private security firms recently released figures showing they won government contracts worth £58.3 million since 2012.

One of them, Canadian security firm GardaWorld, was given work worth £49.6 million. Tory MP Sir Nicholas Soames—a former armed services minister—has worked as a paid adviser to both firms. GardaWorld pays Soames “a monthly salary of £9,166.67 for an expected commitment of 15 hours” according to the register of MPs’ interests.

Streeting’s Bleatings

Wes Streeting is nominally a Labour MP. Troublemaker is running an occasional series on his wisdom

When asked where he would travel in a time machine Streeting said, “I might take a time machine back to 2010 and tell David Miliband to do a bit more work on getting a few more second preferences”. Exciting choice!

Theresa May’s new grammar schools could exclude 90 percent of children. Existing grammars aim to accept 25 percent of children. Yet a meeting of ministers, education advisers and the Grammar School Heads’ Association discussed “a narrower ability range more like the top 10 percent”.

Former Bank of England governor Mervyn King has exposed the contempt the estabishment holds Leave voters in. King said he was told “if you even contemplate voting for Brexit, you must be either ignorant, uneducated, stupid or a racist”. It’s a shame some on the left echo this patronising view of ordinary people.


‘We all have this suspicion that he lies a lot’

Republican Senator Al Franken on Donald Trump

‘President Agent Orange’

Rapper Busta Rhymes has a swipe at Trump at the Bafta awards

‘A photo that exposes how cushy life can be in Britain’s jails’

The Daily Mail rails against prisoners eating cereal

‘He also has four roll-on deodorants, a tea caddy, mouthwash, cartons of milk and salad dressing’

The Mail works itself into a frenzy

‘Just not engaging. And answers were ‘like’ basic’

Restuarant assistant manager Shantel Wesson’s way of telling applicant Megan Dixon she didn’t get a job—by text

‘We’re very proud of singing the national anthem’

Tom Watson, Labour deputy leader, is a proud patriot

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