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‘Woke cancel culture’ gets out of hand after queen’s death

This article is over 1 years, 6 months old
Troublemaker looks at the second week of sad news, including how much how many times the queen was buried and where to buy milk
Issue 2323
Photos taken at Buckingham Palave. A view of Buckingham Palace from The Mall Picture: Gary Knight

Crowds gather at Buckingham Palace Picture: Gary Knight

Troublemaker is old enough to remember when Liz Truss declared, “I will make sure that people can get doctors’ appointments and the NHS services they need.” It was less than a week before it was announced that GPs’ surgeries would be shutting for the day of the queen’s funeral and many operations would be cancelled.

The Last Night of the Proms was cancelled because posh people, Union Jacks and singing God Save The King would obviously seem totally inappropriate. The Royal Life Saving Society postponed its Open Water Festival until June, so just try not to drown before then. Love Your Dog Groomer Day, Age UK Norfolk’s pop-up clinic, Warwickshire Road Safety Partnership’s Drive On event and Mega Skip Day in Richmond upon Thames were all cancelled.

Oh, and funerals and strikes.

Turn down the beeps as a mark of respect

Westminster worthy queues formed in Morrisons as customers struggled to scan their shopping because the barcode beepers had been turned down as “a sign of respect”. Morrisons also “suspended” use of a Bing Bunny child’s ride “as a mark of respect”. In Sainsbury’s, the screens on the scan-your-own devices were changed from orange to black. So moving.

  • Sky News ran a Q&A for people struggling with this hugely significant moment. The constitutional expert Sir Anthony Seldon, biographer of no fewer than six prime ministers,  was asked, “Will my milkman still deliver my milk on the day of the funeral?” Seldon replied, “I think it will depend on your provider and you would need to ask your milkman.” Powerful stuff.
  • The Telegraph newspaper had a prominent article at the weekend revealing “new National Anthem lyrics in full following the death of Queen Elizabeth II”.  Can you guess? Yes! Instead of queen it now has king, and instead of her it has him.
  • A YouGov poll this week asked “have you watched or listened to any of the coverage of the death of the Queen?” Undertstandably 2 percent of people replied “don’t know”
  • The Queen suffered heartache with the death of her oldest corgi shortly before she passed away aged 96–her, not the dog. Candy sadly died soon after she arrived in the Scottish Highlands at the beginning of summer.  But worry not the mutt was not buried in Scotland. Rather it was flown to London then driven in its dog coffin to Windsor where it was buried  with due ceremony.

Buried and buried again 

If you’re royal, you don’t just get buried once. The queen’s coffin was lowered into St George’s Chapel’s Royal Vault on Monday—only to be lifted out and reburied again later on that evening.  The second time, the queen was buried with prince Philip—who was finally allowed to be buried after being kept on ice since his death last year.

The racist’s coffin had been lying on a marble slab in the “vault”. You may wonder if the queens had, well, gone orf, during this long process. As the Daily Express newspaper noted, “Many have questioned how Her Majesty’s coffin can be publicly displayed for so long.” 

TikTok mortician, “AskTheUndertakr” gave the answer. “Because of the wealth and the stature and influence that the Royal Family has, they would secure the best embalmers, the best facilities, the best of everything,” he helpfully “revealed”. “No expense would be spared.”

It’s what she’d have wanted

People showed respect for the queen in many different ways. Australian pub The Roebuck Bay Hotel in Broome held a wet T-shirt competition.   “Join us Wednesday night for a special Wet T in Oasis Bar to celebrate the life of Queen Lizzy,” it said in a Facebook post.

Elizabeth—feminist icon 

You might not think of the queen—a royal parasite who benefited from the looting of the world—as a particularly progressive figure. But you’d be wrong.  Historian Amanda Forman claims the queen was “the ultimate feminist icon of the 20th century”.  Apparently the queen had a “global impact on the cause of gender equality”. 

Unlike those other, bad, feminists who go about it in all the wrong ways, the queen achieved this “all without donning a miniskirt or wailing MeToo. All without spilling emotions, making herself a victim or hiding the effects of age and motherhood.”  So there you have it—speaking up about abuse or sexism is “making yourself a victim”.

Things they say

‘Whiny money grabbers their truce is all for show’

Piers Morgan—who isn’t obsessed with Meghan Markle—speaks out against the idea of Harry and William getting on

‘Of all the many incredibly moving images, the queen’s grandchildren standing guard by her coffin, is the most heart-rending’

Piers Morgan—who isn’t obsessed with Meghan Markle—speaks out against the idea that Harry and William aren’t getting on

‘The most important event the world will ever see’

Labour speaker of the House of Commons, Lindsey Hoyle, leaves no possibility of not being slavish enough

‘Your majesty, can I just say, I’ve waited 15 hours to come here today’

A Mirror journalist, one of the many hacks who joined the queues to see a royal dead or alive

‘You shouldn’t have!’

In response king Charles speaks for us all for once

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